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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514576">Somehow, Women Always Know When You're Hiding Something</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewrose/pseuds/aewrose'>aewrose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gintama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Falling In Love, No Spoilers, things go right for once</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:40:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewrose/pseuds/aewrose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamazaki can't help but fall in love with anyone who pays him any attention.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Yamazaki Sagaru/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Somehow, Women Always Know When You're Hiding Something</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The vice-chief had done this on purpose. Yamazaki just <em>knew </em>it.</p><p>“Well, since <em>some </em>of you keep getting hurt on the job, we’ve decided to hire a doctor to be on call 24/7 here at HQ,” said the taller man, a still-lit cigarette hanging from his lips. A ripple of laughter traveled through the rest of the assembled Shinsengumi force as Hijikata shot Yamazaki the look to end all looks.</p><p><em>Yeah, and why exactly do I keep getting smacked around?</em> <em>Oh yeah, it’s cause YOU have ANGER ISSUES and can’t quit SMOKING, </em>he thought. <em>Dammit. This is humiliating.</em></p><p>The vice-chief went on, blabbering something about treating her right and not being too rough or crude or—God forbid—<em>stalking </em>her (<em>at least there’s one comment not directed at me, </em>Yamazaki thought). He sighed, forcing his gaze toward the front of the room.</p><p>Captain Okita was looking directly at him with the most sadistic face Yamazaki had ever seen. He quickly ducked his head back down.</p><p><em>Scary!! What’s with that scary face, Captain? Why me? WHY ME??? No one else seems to notice! Am I going crazy? Is he trying to send me to hell with just his eyes?? For goodness’ sake, </em>he thought. <em>I may be a virgin, but I’m not a horny teenager! It’s not like I’m going to go insane just by being in close proximity with a woman. It’s probably going to be a granny, or something. School nurses are always grannies. Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to choose a granny? The whole Tama-san debacle was a one and done mini-arc, you know. I’m sure it won’t happen again.</em></p><p>“—And with that, I’d like to introduce you all to Yamanaka Natsu-san. Give her a warm welcome or commit seppuku.”</p><p>The rest of the semi-honorable police force began to applaud, although Yamazaki wasn’t sure if it was out of fear or genuine excitement.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, everyone!” A tall, beautiful young woman standing next to the vice-chief rose from her bow with a smile. “No need to worry, Hijikata-san. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine!” She opened her eyes, meeting Yamazaki’s with a friendly nod.</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>He was sure he could hear Captain Okita laughing, somewhere beneath all the other noise; accompanied by the all-too-familiar sensation of his face going red. The vice-chief was slowly clapping and shaking his head.</p><p>
  <em>WHY ME?!</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>“Really, Hijikata-san,” said Natsu, stretching her shoulders as she pulled her short black hair into a ponytail, revealing a buzz cut underneath. “You’ve got to quit abusing your employees. I’ll have to report you.”</p><p>“Report me, huh? To who?”</p><p>“I’ll find <em>someone</em> in the government who will bring the hammer down on you. Even if I have go to all the way to the shogun,” she shouted as the vice-chief walked away with his hands in his pockets.</p><p>“Alright, Yamazaki-san. Let’s see,” she said, putting her glasses on. “Mind if I come close to you?”</p><p>“N-not at all,” he said, face reddening in contrast to the deep blue color of the black eye Hijikata just gave him.</p><p>She rolled her chair over to where the spy was seated, deep brown eyes inspecting the darkening bruise.</p><p>“Hm, I don’t see any broken skin, or any evidence there’s a break.” She moved his hair out of the way. “Are you alright? You feel warm, and you’re flushed,”</p><p>“F-fine! I’m just fine! Really, Yamanaka-san, thank you for your help, but I’m sure I’ll be fine—“</p><p>“Are you sure?” she said, placing a cool hand on his shoulder. “At least let me give you an icepack for that eye.”</p><p>“Yes, of course. I’m used to it, by now,” said Yamazaki with a nervous laugh. <em>That was way too close,</em> he thought.</p><p>“Alright, if you say so. Stay hydrated, and stay out of trouble. Take some Bufferin tonight, that should help keep the swelling and soreness down.” She took her glasses off, spinning her chair back to her desk with a stack of paperwork on it.</p><p>“Thank you very much, Yamanaka-san. I’ll do my best!” Yamazaki bowed before turning to leave the room. <em>Get out, get out before you say something stupid, get out get out!!!</em></p><p>“Oh, Yamazaki-san?”</p><p>He bristled, stopping in his tracks, swallowing thickly. “Hm?” <em>Did your voice just crack?</em></p><p>“Natsu-san is fine,” she looked over her shoulder at him, smiling.</p><p>“O-of course. Thanks again,”he said, turning and practically running out of the room.</p><p>—</p><p>“Alright, everyone! It’s my favorite day of the year! Does anyone want to guess why that is?”</p><p>“Is it ‘the Purge?’ Is it the first annual Japanese Purge?” said Okita, seated in the front of the assembly, completely blank expression directed toward Hijikata despite Natsu being the one asking the question.</p><p>“Uh, no, Okita-san, it’s not ‘the Purge.’” Natsu said, nervously. “It’s immunization day!” </p><p>The crowd of Shinsengumi men collectively groaned.</p><p>“Man, I hate needles,” said someone in the crowd.</p><p>Okita raised his hand. “Yes, Okita-san?”</p><p>“May I prepare Hijikata-san’s immunization?”</p><p>“You most certainly may <em>not,” </em>said Natsu, choosing not to elaborate. “So, everyone, to keep everything a little more organized, we’ll be calling you by groups. Please take note of what group you’re in, according to the section of the room you’re seated in now, and listen for your group number. All but group 1 may be dismissed now, if you’re in group 1 please…”</p><p>Natsu’s voice trailed off as Yamazaki rose from his seat on the floor.</p><p>“Ugh, I can’t believe we’re last!” said someone sitting nearby.</p><p>“Right? Now we have to wait all day in anticipation.”</p><p>“I don’t mind. I’m not afraid of needles,” said someone else.</p><p>
  <em>This is like a nightmare. A nightmare or a cruel, cruel joke. She’ll never take me seriously if I faint while I’m getting an injection. What kind of samurai can get full-on stabbed in the chest and be fine, but a little needle gets me all worked up?</em>
</p><p>Yamazaki had long since ceased trying to avoid Natsu-san’s office. It only got worse when the vice-chief and Captain Okita had noticed his attraction and became determined to send him there every time he tripped over his own feet (or Captain Okita’s foot, or a curiously placed stray mayonnaise bottle). The only solution—in his mind—was to act as natural as possible, in the hopes that she wouldn’t notice him getting red-faced every time she was near and his heart beating fast when she smiled at him. After asking him to call her “Natsu-san” (which she had to do more than once, as Yamazaki got so incredibly flustered every time she was around that he forgot a few times), she had begun calling him “Sagaru-kun.” <em>Sagaru-kun!</em> Did she <em>know </em>what she was <em>doing </em>to him when she called him that? It had even begun showing up in his dreams! In last night’s, in fact, an anpan bun with an undercut called him “Sagaru-kun,” and he woke up with a curious feeling in his crotch.</p><p><em>This is torture, </em>he thought. <em>Pure torture.</em></p><p>The day dragged on and on, Yamazaki desperately trying to stay away from the prying eye of the vice-chief, before the announcement finally came over the loudspeaker.</p><p>“Group 4! You’re the last group of the day. Please make your way in a calm and orderly fashion to Yamanaka-san’s office! That is all!”</p><p>Yamazaki was drenched in a cold sweat by the time he reached the line stretching out of Natsu-san’s room.</p><p>“Hey, Yamazaki,” said the man in line behind him. “You must be excited, huh?”</p><p>“E-excited? Why?”</p><p>“Ohh~ <em>Natsu-san touched me~</em>” said another man, mockingly.</p><p>“Shut up!! It’s not like that!” he blushed, jamming his hands in his pockets.</p><p>“<em>You know I’m an inspector, Natsu-san. Would you let me inspect you?” </em>The men nearby erupted in laughter.</p><p>“Hey, hey. Leave off him,” said a familiar yet disquieting voice.</p><p>Captain Okita was standing a few men ahead in the line. “He’s sick, you know.”</p><p>“Yamazaki, you’re sick? Why didn’t you tell us?”</p><p>“Well, I—“ <em>To tell the truth, I’m just as surprised as you idiots! What are you talking about, Captain?!</em></p><p>“Very sick.” Okita shook his head sadly. “In fact, I heard it’s terminal.”</p><p>“Oh,” the men nearby quieted down.</p><p>
  <em>Well, at least the teasing quit. But what’s this about being terminally ill? What don’t I know?! Did the captain poison me?!</em>
</p><p>“Alright, you’re up, Okita-san,” said Natsu, eyes smiling, mouth concealed by a surgical mask. Another man was leaving the office, gently rubbing his upper arm.</p><p>“Hey, Yamanaka-san, can you prescribe medications?” he asked.</p><p>“Of course I can. Why?”</p><p>Okita turned, sadistic eyes boring a hole in Yamazaki’s skull. “It’s Yamazaki. He’s… he’s…<em>lovesick,”</em></p><p>The remainder of the line erupted once again in laughter. Natsu rolled her eyes. “Oh, hush. You all just wish you got <em>half </em>of the attention he gets from me.”</p><p>Yamazaki kept his eyes trained on the ground until it was his turn, hoping that by some miracle the blood would recede from his face and conceal his embarrassment. <em>Play it cool, </em>he thought. <em>No fainting. No puking.</em></p><p>“Alright, Sa—um, Yamazaki-san,” she said. The other men were all watching, some with the same S look on their faces that Okita-san had. <em>Why does everyone here seem to enjoy seeing me in pain?!</em></p><p>“Have a seat.” Yamazaki pulled his shirt down to reveal his shoulder, looking away, lip quivering. <em>Play it cool. Play it cool. Play it cool. Super cool. So, so cool. As cool as Momota Kento-san.</em></p><p>Natsu began to swab his arm, suddenly speaking right in his ear. “Hey, Yamazaki-san, what’s the first rule of badminton?”</p><p>“Oh, that’s easy,” he said, suddenly confident. “At no time during the game should any player touch the net, with his racquet or his body.”</p><p>“Hm,” she said. “I suppose that makes sense.”</p><p>“Natsu-san, when are you going to—oh,” he looked down to see her applying a small bandage to his arm.</p><p>“You’re all done!” She smiled, a huge toothy grin this time instead of her usual subdued look. “I’m good, right?”</p><p>“Y-you’re very good, Natsu-san. I didn’t feel a thing.”</p><p>“Very good. Now run along,” she said, moving to whisper in his ear. “I won’t embarrass you now, but I do have a chuubert in the freezer with your name on it, when everyone’s gone.”</p><p>He met eyes with her, as she winked and patted him on the back.</p><p>
  <em>Yamazaki Sagaru, you idiot. You’re in way too deep now.</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Natsu leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms and legs as far as they would go. An enormous pile of paperwork was lying menacingly on her desk. “Ugh. What I wouldn’t do for some ice cold tea right now,” she said, to no one in particular. “It can be my reward after I finish this.” She retrieved her pen from her pocket—a nice fountain pen, it had been a gift when she completed medical school—and got to work.</p><p>50 signatures later, she laid her head down on her desk and sighed. <em>My eyes are getting sore, </em>she thought. <em>I’ll just take my glasses off and rest them for a minute.</em></p><p>Natsu jerked awake, straightening suddenly in her chair to the sound of a gasp and heavy footfalls quickly growing further and further away. She turned, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever’s presence woke her up (intending to thank them, of course, she didn’t have time to be napping) but caught nothing but a black sock turning the corner at the end of the hall. <em>That narrows it down, </em>she thought. <em>Not like everyone around here wears the same outfit or anything.</em></p><p>The clock on her desk began to beep. <em>Oh no. How did I sleep for an hour? And I still have to file everything… But, doesn’t something seem off in here? The cabinet’s still locked, and my phone’s right where I left it, next to my glasses. What else could it be?</em></p><p>The pile of finished notes was gone. She looked to her filing system on the wall, and each one was in its place. “Huh,” she said. “That’s… weird.” Turning her attention back to her desk, she finally noticed a bottle of ice cold green tea, quickly leaving a pool of condensation on the coaster so graciously placed underneath.</p><p>“Oh, you <em>stalker,</em>” she whispered. (It was quite possibly the first time that the term had been used as one of endearment within Shinsengumi HQ walls.)</p><p>She smiled, looking over her shoulder. “I owe you one,” she shouted down the empty hallway.</p><p><em>You don’t owe me anything, Natsu-san, </em>thought Yamazaki, sitting just out of view around the corner, heart fluttering like a schoolgirl receiving her first love letter. <em>You don’t owe me anything at all.</em></p><p>—</p><p>“Sagaru-kun, when’s your birthday?”</p><p>“February 6th.” <em>Why’d she call me that in front of the vice-chief?</em></p><p>“Good. And who’s the shogun?”</p><p>“Tokugawa Shigeshige-sama.” <em>I’m cold. Why am I cold? Where are my clothes?</em></p><p>“Very good. Do you know where you are?”</p><p>“I want water,” <em>Don’t touch there, Natsu-san. It hurts.</em></p><p>“I’ll get you some in a minute,” she said, peeling off the shredded, bloodied remains of Yamazaki’s undershirt. “Do you know where you are?”</p><p>“Mm… stakeout?” <em>Is that the ceiling? Am I on the floor? Natsu-san’s so close, her hair is touching me. It smells good. </em></p><p>Natsu frowned. “Well, sort of.”</p><p>“I’m cold,” he said, wincing and jerking away from a gentle yet probing touch to sore bruised ribs. </p><p>“Oh? You feel pretty warm to me.”</p><p>Hijikata’s head appeared over Natsu’s shoulder, blurry in Yamazaki’s limited field of vision. “God, he looks so thin.”</p><p>“I know. He’s still pretty out of it.”</p><p>“No ‘m not,” he slurred. The woman’s voice faded as she looked over her shoulder to talk to the vice-chief.</p><p><em>Natsu-san isn’t listening. </em>“I’m not, Natsu-san.”</p><p>
  <em>Where did she go? The ceiling’s all different.</em>
</p><p>“You aren’t what, Yamazaki?” <em>Vice-chief? What was I saying?</em></p><p>“…I don’t remember,” <em>This floor is more comfy than the other one. The light hurts my eyes, though.</em></p><p>“That’s okay, Sagaru-kun. We’re figuring out what happened piece by piece. So you just focus on feeling better, okay?” Natsu gently wiped his face with a wet rag. The light in the room was dimmer now.</p><p><em>Natsu-san? Where did you come from? </em>“What happened?”</p><p>“I’m not completely sure,” she said, smiling softly. <em>She looks tired. </em>“Stakeout went wrong. We lost contact with you for 10 days before we figured out where you were.”</p><p>“My head hurts.”</p><p>“I bet. We’re still working on getting your fever to break, but you seem a little more coherent.” She let the rag rest on his forehead, sitting back in her chair.</p><p><em>She’s holding my hand, </em>he thought. <em>It’s so soft. It’s perfect. She’s perfect. </em>“Am I in the hospital?”</p><p>“Mhmm,” she nodded. “We’ve been here for about three days.” <em>Three days? No, wait. We?</em></p><p>“Oh, and Sagaru-kun?” She leaned back in, close, squeezing his hand. “Don’t scare me like that again.”</p><p>—</p><p>“What is it, Sagaru-kun?”</p><p>
  <em>How did she know it was me?! I’m so quiet! I’m like a ninja! She didn’t even look up from her work! What kind of a spy can’t even sneak up on someone who’s busy?</em>
</p><p>“Well, I…I wanted to…Are you busy?” <em>Come on, don’t start stuttering now. Think of it like an interrogation. Well, maybe not. That’s a bad idea. Scratch that.</em></p><p>“Not really. What’s up?” She wheeled her chair around, removing her glasses. Yamazaki began to sweat.</p><p>“Well, I-I’ve known you for, um, a while now, and I just… I just wanted to tell you…”</p><p>Natsu was looking at him, smiling expectantly. Alarm bells were going off in his head, and his hands began to shake.</p><p>“…I just wanted to tell you that I really, um, <em>like </em>you.” He tore his gaze away from hers as he felt his cheeks, ears, and nose turning red.</p><p>“Oh, that’s all? Really, Sagaru-kun, I could have guessed that.” <em>What? Am I that unsubtle?! </em>“I’m glad you said something, though. It gives me an opportunity to tell you I feel the same way.”</p><p><em>????????</em> </p><p>“R-really?” It was like Yamazaki’s brain had short-circuited. His ever-present inner voice had quieted entirely.</p><p>“Yes, really,” she said, chuckling as she stood from her seat. “When’s your next day off?”</p><p>“Um, it’s tomorrow,” <em>Is this really happening to me? I’ve been reduced to a bit character, the butt of jokes at best. Why are things going so well?</em></p><p>“Dinner and a movie, then? I’ll buy dinner if you pay for the movie?”</p><p>“S-sounds good,” <em>She’s too close, she’s way too close. I can practically guess what flavor of lip balm she has on from the smell alone.</em></p><p>“It’s a date, then,” she said, kissing him softly on the lips before sitting back in her chair, returning to her work.</p><p>Yamazaki stood there for a moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop.</p><p>
  <em>What are you doing? Run! Run before she changes her mind! Get out of there before she decides you’re creeping her out by standing there!! ABSCOND BEFORE YOU BECOME A STALKER LIKE THE GORILLA CHIEF!</em>
</p><p>Natsu listened, smiling, as the familiar steps grew faster and faster, becoming a run and sliding around the corner of the hallway.</p><p>“Oh, Sagaru-kun. Women always know.”</p>
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